Art is in the eye of the beholder. But what happens when the beholder doesn't like it? When those whose opinions you value say it isn't good enough. That your art isn't good enough. It feels like they are telling you that you aren't good enough...
The White Rose Society
In my senior year of high school, I wrote a play for my school's one act. Each year we perform a one act for region and state theatre. During these competitions, each school in the region prepares a play that is 45-60 minutes long. My junior year I participated in the one-act and it was a bit of a mess. We didn't have enough rehearsal time and didn't end up qualifying for state. So, senior year I decided to take things into my own hands. I proposed to my teacher that I write the script and she agreed. It took months of revisions and editing, but I was finally able to finish.
The play was based on The White Rose Society, a group of students who protested against the Nazi regime. The White Rose Society is comprised of several members, but the two that I focus on the most were Hans and Sophie Scholl (who I sketchedin the picture above), a brother and sister who were university students in Germany during World War II. They grew up as stout followers of Hitler, but after witnessing the horrors that the Jewish population faced, they saw past Hitler’s façade and greatly opposed Hitler's Nazi Regime. They started a resistance group called The White Rose Society and spread pamphlets over Germany. Eventually, the Gestapo caught up to them because of Sophie's act of defiance. They proudly admitted to their “crimes” and were sentenced to death, but their message lives on.
I wanted to call attention to issues I felt were important, to write the stories that have been forgotten by so many but had such a big influence on history. So, with my theater teacher's permission I started the casting process. My classmates and friends were thrilled to audition, and they truly put their best foot forward. Within days I had the play cast, and we were at work. We rehearsed three days a week, working on the play for months, and were so excited to perform for the regional judges.
Finally, the day had come. The region competition for one-acts. I told them to do their best and that I was so proud of how they portray this story. Everything went by in a blur as we performed. And then the dreaded moment, the results.
Not good enough
The judges walked up to the stage with microphone in hand. "Congratulations The White Rose Society for placing fourth." My heart sunk in my stomach. There were only four schools participating. As my theater teacher went up to collect our ballots, I looked around at everyone who came to support me. Almost all of the theater kids from Viewmont came. Parents, friends, teachers, classmates all witnessing my failure. I searched through the ballots hoping beyond hope that we had enough
(above is the script cover I made) points to qualify for state. I felt like I had to vomit as I saw my cast with the last glimmer of hope in their eyes. "We didn't qualify." I spoke. I then ran out of the auditorium and into the hallway.
I was devastated. All that work and we don't get to perform more than once. I felt that I not only let everyone who believed in me, but my cast, my teacher, myself, and those who risked their lives in the white rose society. I wanted to tell their story to as many people as possible, yet I fell short. I was the director, the writer, the costumer, and was acting in one of the roles. If this play wasn't good enough to make it to state, did that mean I wasn't good enough? This story has such an important message and because of this, I wanted to do it the justice it deserves.
So... you may be wondering, Kira that's a great story and all but when are we going to get to the point where you learn to not take others' opinions so seriously? In fact, it seems like you did the opposite.
Dealing with the aftermath
Well, for the following couple days I was absolutely devastated, but my cast and so many other people in the audience helped me realize how impactful this play had been. Almost all of the audience members had never heard of The White Rose Society before this performance, and I was able to introduce these heroes to them. Many people cried when both Hans and Sophie died for their cause, refusing to stay silent against evil. I realized that just because the judges didn't appreciate it as much as the audience did, doesn't mean I shouldn't have tried. This play brought awareness to Sophie and Han's story and even if one person was inspired to stand up for themselves and their beliefs, it will have been worth it.
I refused to give up so easily. I wanted to tell the story of The White Rose Society as well as giving my cast another opportunity to perform a play that we had worked on for weeks. I decided to not let the judges discourage me or my cast. The next time I saw met with the cast (some included in the photo on the right) I explained how blessed I was to have a cast who truly put their all into this story, and, if they are willing to, we could perform again. I had spoken to my theater teacher about doing a performance for the school, but with the end of school coming up we were on a time crunch. We went from teacher to teacher asking if they would be willing to bring their classes to watch our one-act. Some had other plans (like testing considering it was so close to the end of the year), however we got enough students watching to perform it twice. We even got to do a Q and A panel at the end and so many students asked questions about the story of Hans and Sophie. I was thrilled to see how many students were impacted by their story and wanted to learn more.
What I learned
Although we weren't able to perform for state, my cast, teacher, and school supported me in telling a beautiful story. I will never be able to express my gratitude to those who encouraged me. And if I had let the judges discourage me enough that I gave up, I never would have been able to share this incredible experience with so many others.
Art is in the eye of the beholder, and just because one, three, or even a panel of judges say it isn't good enough doesn't mean it wasn't worth it. So don't stop creating! Don't stop making art, even if people tell you that your art isn't good enough. Because you never know who you will inspire. And don't forget to take some time to create for yourself too! Art (whether it's a performance, painting, or poem) is magical and with practice you'll be able to realize that your art is too, no matter what anyone else says.
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